General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice. |
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Member ?Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 445 | A question keeps running through my head, "do we give too much life to things that might not be real?" because I find that I always seem to be worrying about one thing or another in my marriage especially, and then living based around those worries or situations I "think" I'm going through. I assume things, or making false accusations... So I guess my questions are, Why do we always tend to make mountains out of molehills? Why can't we live day to day, instead of thinking so much about yesterday and the day before that? Why do we worry so much about what will happen tomorrow, especially in regards to relationships? Why do we never want to forgive people for their mistakes? These may seem like really dumb questions, but I wonder sometimes....If we all put down our worries, and concentrated only on what we can do to better ourselves instead of trying to change other people, wouldn't that lead us one step closer to I don't know if any of you will want to reply to this, but I just want to put it out there. Feel free to put your two cents in. |
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Member ?Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1,840 | Quote:
Pretty much for me If I do worry? Again its open ended and no closure and again especially if its a repeated "theme" ..like "lied to me again" no "security" wont lie again tomorrow because its a "pattern" with not a lot of time to heal in between.. The 3rd one is not me.I do want to forgive people for mistakes but for reasons as stated above they can sometimes make that far more difficult for you .But forgiving someone is like a breath of fresh air to me a "release" and I want to do it.Its not just for them..actually sometimes it isn't for them at all.You can forgive a dead person as an example. | |
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Member ?Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 1,187 | Quote:
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Member ?Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Kansas City Metro area Posts: 2,377 | Quote:
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Member ?Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 527 | Along the lines of dallasapple's first comment, it's very difficult for me to "move on" and forgive and forget when the issue never gets resolved...when it gets swept under the rug, when my feelings are invalidated frequently. It's little hurts that add up to one big one eventually...a dismissal of my opinion about something that affects me as much as him, a cold shoulder lasting days that ends abruptly with no explanation, a unilateral change in pre-marital decisions such as how many children to have, constant walking on eggshells to ward off angry outbursts over trivial matters. Then when trying to discuss the issue immediately, I'm told to stop taking things so personally...everyone has a bad day...if I try to bring it up later, I'm accused of holding grudges for every little thing. For me, this is why it's hard to let go of yesterday and just be happy with today, to just forgive and forget...because to forgive someone for past hurts, it sure as heck would make it much easier if that person would meet half way and acknowledge their contribution to the problem. |
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Member ?Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 3,664 | Quote:
Edit: I have added this quote from Waking up to life because I agree with this part: "For me, this is why it's hard to let go of yesterday and just be happy with today, to just forgive and forget...because to forgive someone for past hurts, it sure as heck would make it much easier if that person would meet half way and acknowledge their contribution to the problem."
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Last edited by 2ntnuf; Yesterday at 08:01 PM. | |
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Member ?Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: starbucks Posts: 209 | Quote:
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Member ?Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,076 | Quote:
We don't HAVE to do any of that. I am convinced that the secret to happiness and contentment is in the "letting go". It is also in living for today, and planning for tomorrow. I think a long time ago, I quit wishing and wondering and hoping and worrying.... especially when it comes to relationships but really, in alot of aspects of life. I think we can make a choice. To either wallow, or to forge ahead.... and if you can get past the past.... THEN you get to coast. A few tips... daily inspirations (yay for the internet!), old sayings such as "Count your blessings" etc... there are tons. Find a "mantra"... at one of my hardest times my mantra was that little mole/groundhog thing from Caddyshack singing "I'm alright, nobody worry 'bout me". That was me, finding my own way in spite of some real crap around me. My point is....it is within you... find it. | |
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Member ?Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1,840 | Quote:
That's so sweet of you to say..but I suspect you could have said it just as well..I have met many "wise" people who view things this way or better yet have figured this out. ![]() | |
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